A pet that can do everything

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner "I'm looking for pet that can do EVERYTHING. No boring cats or dogs - something really amazing! What do you have?" The shop owner immediately replies "Sounds like you need a centipede!” “A centipede?" the man replies, "I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll take it.”

He takes his centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.” Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and… it’s immaculate! All the dishes have been washed and put away, the counter-tops cleaned and even the appliances are sparkling. He’s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.”

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed, the furniture cleaned and dusted and the plants watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen! This really is a pet that can do everything!”

He says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.” The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later…no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later… no centipede. By this point the man's worried. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later… still no centipede! Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede?

So he goes to the front door, opens it…and there’s the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, “Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!” The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just puttin’ on my shoes!”