Computer Help

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):



Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; How may I help you?'

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect.’

Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared'

Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No..'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark?'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window.'

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not?'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it

licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and

packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them. Unplug your system and pack it

up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to

the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!’

 

Hahaha! Been there. I have a degree in IT Network Engineering. Had to do a service call one morning in a downtown office building in Saskatoon. I walked in and asked where the PC was that was having issues and were any others having the same issue? "No just this one and it was working perfect friday when I went home". I asked if these construction guys, who were working in the building that morning worked through the weekend? She answers "yes and cleaning staff too". I just nodded. A quick check showed she had no network connectivity so after checking the cables and wires on the back of the tower and monitor and ensuring they were connected properly I climbed under the desk and sure enough the construction workers had removed the ethernet cable from the port on the wall when they moved the desk to do some work on the drywall behind the desk and forgotten to plug it back in. She says "OMG that's what the problem was?" I politely said "yes ma'am" and she says "I am so embarrassed". I just chuckled and said "no need to be, I see it daily, even at home with my gf" LOL
In IT tech lingo we used to call that a PEBCAK when asked what the problem was after returning from a service call....

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

With the really special cases we referred to them as ID 10 T errors!!