Oldie but goody

A man dies and goes to hell. The devil greets him in the lobby and explains "Hell's not as bad as people let on! You'll even have your choice of how you spend eternity! Let me show you the options." The man's very surprised and speechlessly follows the devil through a long, winding hallway.

The devil swings open a door and waves the man over. "This room's very traditional - what do you think?" The man peeks into the room and is overwhelmed by the sight. Hapless people are being tortured by countless demons! They're being whipped, stabbed with pitchforks, stretched on racks; it's horrible. The man stammers "I don't think this one's quite my scene... What else do you have?" The devil waves him along to another door.

"This room is one of our most popular!" The devil beams as he swings open the door. The man is struck by a blast of hot air and the stench of sulfur. Inside, people are howling in pain, writhing in a great lake of fire. The man's so transfixed by the sight he can barely say "Um. Maybe I ought to see another room... Just so I don't rush into anything..." The devil shrugs, closes the door and leads the man further down the hallway to another door.

The devil says to the man "Now this room isn't very popular, but some people do prefer it" and opens the door. A stench hits the man like a blow to the face. Fighting the urge to vomit, he steps to the doorway and surveys the room. Inside a few dozen people are standing knee deep in a pond of shit, drinking mugs of coffee. There are no demons, no fire, just the shit and coffee. The smell isn't even that bad after getting used to it!

The man exclaims "This is the room for me!" The devil seems surprised and asks "Are you sure? In the next room, demons will give you enemas and jump on you. It's a pretty good time!" The man politely declines and thanks the devil for the choice. The devil shrugs and says "Well, it's up to you. This is your room, then. OK everybody! Coffee break's over! Get back on your heads!"